me on tinder this weekend https://t.co/jzLtEcAnnc

RT @MattBelloni: New pod: There’s only one studio comedy this summer, and TV is in a weird place. What’s going on? With @mike_farah and Joe Farrell of @funnyordie. Listen! https://t.co/Z33ExAvV28

Have you been injured in a motorcycle accident? Well I’m a deep sea fisherman and that information is not relevant to me

Let’s be honest here: kissing is for virgins

RT @deadeyebrakeman: Just overheard some wild phone calls at an LA running spot https://t.co/Jog7dicSB4

Girls will literally get water bottles that say “keep going, you can do it!” instead of going to therapy

Hi, I'm Kylie Brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman). Funny or Die gave me their Twitter password and now I’m going to get them canceled or die trying

Thanks for the invite, by @jonryanisdead https://t.co/ajkLOTlmFz

my dog waiting for me to drop what i’m eating https://t.co/LxjNmOQiNW

celebrating friday the 13th by having some premarital sex in the woods by the lake, pretty sure nothing could go wrong

when i walk into target and realize i’m wearing a red polo https://t.co/sZzvrhHpip

RT @engadget: 'League of Legends' mocumentary 'Players' heads to Paramount+ on June 16th https://t.co/weaoyq1dJP https://t.co/OYlK8jwMrX

The veteran needs a win. The rookie needs to prove himself. The untold story of the greatest game ever played... at least in esports. The new original series #Players premieres June 16th, only on #ParamountPlus. https://t.co/o55kobDSRb

The veteran needs a win. The rookie needs to prove himself. The untold story of the greatest game ever played... at least in eSports. The new original series #Players premieres June 16th, only on #ParamountPlus https://t.co/z53bblaZMq

*swirling blue gatorade in wine glass* i’m getting hints of glacier

10 year old me trying to manifest a snow day instead of doing my homework https://t.co/Fnvvp8kYDr

RT @alyankovic: Get psyched. https://t.co/w7oTGVwjFe

The teaser trailer for #WEIRDTheAlYankovicStory is here! Coming to @therokuchannel this fall https://t.co/Ac7EWNNmWl

RT @TheRokuChannel: Get psyched. #WEIRDTheAlYankovicStory @alyankovic https://t.co/877rznivXK

dominic toretto has arrived at the met gala and the theme has been changed to family https://t.co/iz8o0kg3hU