twitter crop is gone? time to post long burgundy https://t.co/3CAAqN2ZBi

Give us your best jerk neighbor story, then use this master class to top it yourself

Featuring @AmandaCerny @jonbraylock @philorphilip & @DancesWithTamis / Written by @darrendmiller https://t.co/gTcbsZ9RHX

me and the boys as soon as we’re vaccinated https://t.co/Xjb82A1OWn

me in the morning: can't work, too hungry

me in the afternoon: can't work, too full

the facebook oversight board MUST suspend my mom’s account before she posts again about me being single

 @BrockmireIFC https://t.co/NPd5p1hOTY

POV: you’re a filet of fish https://t.co/xlVNx16xkY

In honor of May 4th, here are our Top 5 Star Wars characters:

5) Jar Jar
4) Jar Jar
3) That bartender who hates robots for literally no reason
2) That stormtrooper who hits his head on the door while he’s running 
1) Jar Jar

shoot your shot bill https://t.co/WWdOfx6V66

Don’t travel just to run away from all your problems, BE the problem! 

Featuring @AmandaCerny, @jonbraylock, @addieyomind & @maggieblaze13 / Written by @darrendmiller https://t.co/JUzbXXUZvF

fuck it, here's the beatles with steve buscemi eyes https://t.co/sp1f0iZyzh

https://t.co/NE86UzLP8q https://t.co/MRqnGWoWVk

our picks for the next jeopardy host https://t.co/JQJqx4H6AF

i like to microdose shitting by farting all day

Tag the biggest jerk in your office, then use this guide to take their place on the leaderboard

Featuring @AmandaCerny, @SydneyBattle, @Andy_Bustillos & @DivaDelux / Written by @darrendmiller https://t.co/OZGf0ZOdkj

thank you mr president https://t.co/Pari2hAn34

just to clarify, andrew giuliani is not a will ferrell character https://t.co/grliM3dFM8

“how many times have you masturbated during quarantine?”

me: https://t.co/wT1GHVHy3Y

the CDC issued a statement saying that people must still wear a mask after I take a shit

Tag the biggest jerk in your family, then use this master class to take their place

Featuring @AmandaCerny, @katehollowell, @DRSAMNAISMITH, @makeley22 / Written by @darrendmiller https://t.co/KGMhEXMuhG