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At the end of Endgame, Captain America uses the Time Stone to make himself eligible for the vaccine.
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Okay guys, I finally caved and bought stock in GameStop. Wish me luck!
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.@KenanThompson gives off such powerfully good vibes, most immune systems can’t handle it. Hear our conversation @ https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/dXH53vQT3O
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In honor of Washington’s Birthday, I’m getting wooden Invisaligns.
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The first thing NASA’s Perseverance rover discovered was a better series finale for "Dexter"
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Ted Cruz really is the "Ted Cruz" of senators.
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I had no idea Toyota’s “RAV4” was short for “Ravioli 4” until I opened the glove compartment.
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I miss the good old days when "going to the movies" didn't involve breaking into a theater then Googling "how to work a projector."
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Been following a trail of rose petals since Sunday. Miles away from home and realizing this isn’t going to lead back to my bedroom.
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Thanks to my friend @danagould for shining a spotlight on Dr. Z, one of the unsung pioneers of late night television. https://t.co/2LwqyKA5KV
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I had the privilege of talking to Dave Grohl about the punk show that changed his life, jamming with Sir Paul McCartney, and how well KFC chicken goes with champagne. Listen @ https://t.co/oVFo7VxNEK https://t.co/7NiQm1SpKM
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I was on the phone all morning yesterday ordering flowers and chocolates for our porch thief.
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I’m looking forward to taking my wife to the dining room for Valentine’s Day.
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What’s the cutoff age for leaving a baby on the doorstep of a fire station? Would they take, for example, a fully grown red-haired man?
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I think WandaVision is slowly building to the big reveal that I still don't know what's going on.
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RT @teamcocolive: Season two of our web series "The Set Up," kicks off with @NikkiGlaser reliving the first time she met Conan. Watch the full episode @ https://t.co/qynFzZsuEJ https://t.co/xA9M1yQOYQ
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If I just wanted likes, I would post my private video of 3 piglets and 3 puppies frolicking in a basket held by Idris Elba. But I won’t.
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Good luck meeting anyone on Tinder with just "Executive Chair” of Amazon, Bezos!
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Tom Brady winning the Super Bowl at 43 makes me believe I could win the Super Bowl 14 years ago.
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Had a blast chatting with @DavidSpade about our SNL days, the lax security at 30 Rock in the ‘80s, and that time I hung out with his mom at @AdamSandler's daughter’s Bat Mitzvah. https://t.co/pfOk236hQr https://t.co/eQ9iuKmfTj
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